It’s OK not to be OK

Coronavirus has been a dominant theme in life and ministry over the past couple of weeks, and is set to become even more so.  Time will be spent dealing with the practical implications for family, the pastoral care of those in the church, and looking out for those in need in wider society.

Alongside this has been the nagging feeling that as a Minister I should have something more profound to input into this situation, but a lack of anything to say that hasn’t been said many times before.  Over the past couple of days, however, it has become clear what I must speak into this situation: It’s OK not to be OK.

The phrase is the subtitle of a book I read recently,  Honesty over silence, by Patrick Regan, which deals with how churches fail to cope with people expressing that things are not ok, and the way this isolates those with mental health difficulties, fractured lives, physical trauma and a whole manner of other situations.  He urges us to become communities that truly listen, allowing people to express themselves honestly without resorting to trite responses or making them think that their faith is somehow lacking for feeling as they do.

In the current situation with Coronavirus it needs to be said loud and clear: It’s OK not to be OK.  To feel anxious, uncertain, traumatised by everything that is happening is not a sign of week faith.  There is no need to be guilty for feeling you are not sure how you will navigate the difficulties this throws into you life, even if you feel they may be less than those faced by other people – they are your difficulties, and your feelings, and you must be able to express them.

Many people have expressed fear about the effects of the virus on “the most vulnerable.”  By which they usually mean the physically old or those with particular medical conditions who are most likely to fall seriously ill or die if they catch it.  This is of course important, but physical frailty is not the only vulnerability.  Just within my own congregation I can name those who are vulnerable to the virus in the following ways:

  • Those for whom long-term shutdown will mean temporary or permanent loss of income, leaving them unable to pay for their housing or feed their families.
  • Those whose mental health is being negatively affected by the uncertainty.  If you have never lived with mental illness or are naturally someone who thrives on spontaneity and risk, please never underestimate the percentage of people who only manage to get through life because they have spent years carving out routines which give them just enough control of their situation to be able to appear okay – routines which may suddenly have to be cast aside.
  • Those with young children for whom the prospect of long weeks of school closure will causes issues with work/life balance, problems with acquiring affordable childcare, strain on their marriage, extreme exhaustion, or affect their emotional and physical health.
  • Those who are separated from close family members for an indefinite period of time as a result of travel restrictions, or have had to cancel trips to visit loved ones and family.
  • Those who have family members who have contracted the virus, or who are in a very vulnerable group for doing so, who can be extremely concerned about the health of those family members.

Taking that list, and I’m sure it can be added to, most (maybe even all) of us could be seen to be vulnerable to this virus in one way or another.  Sending a message to anyone that they can’t express their concern and vulnerability because it’s “not as bad” as someone else’s is unhelpful, and goes against the example of Jesus who approached each and every individual as one who was in need in one way or another.

As the effects of this virus become even more acute, let’s remember that looking out for others is about more than not panic buying, or doing the shopping for the elderly lady next door – absolutely right as both of those responses are! – but about allowing each one the freedom to express their concerns, to be listened to, to be engaged with, and so hopefully to feel the love of others and the peace of Christ at this time.

Spiritual Skills

Continuing in the theme of posts based on sermons, a year or so ago I preached a series of 12 sermons on what have commonly been called the “Spiritual Disciplines.”  Several people said to me at the time that I should make them more widely available, and so over the coming weeks I hope to rewrite them into posts for this blog.

The 12 skills are taken from Richard Foster’s book, Celebration of Discipline.  They are Prayer, Fasting, Meditation, Study, Simplicity, Solitude, Submission, Service, Celebration, Confession, Guidance, and Worship.  While Foster’s book was a useful aid in my writing, I haven’t always approached these areas in the same way he did.

“Discipline” is a difficult word for many, not one that fills us with joy and optimism, so I’m opting for the title “Spiritual Skills”, which hopefully captures the essence of these as areas which we want to develop, practice, and become better at.  My aim in these posts is to be practical and encouraging, as we seek to grow in our relationship with God in Jesus.

That relationship is at the heart of Christian faith.  By definition, a Christian is one who is in relationship with the God of the universe; he is our Father, we are his children.  Like all relationships, this has highs and lows.  There are times of great excitement and joy together, and times that need more work.  Sometimes the other person feels close, physically or emotionally, and sometimes they feel distant.  Our relationship with God is no different.

You may be able to think of times when God has felt particularly close, the Holy Spirit has moved in amazing ways, and you have been full of joy and peace.  That may be in a big worship event at a Christian festival, at the top of a mountain gazing over God’s beautiful creation, in the silence of a magnificent Cathedral, or wherever it is for you.

We sometimes call these ‘mountain-top experiences’.  They are wonderful, but we can’t stay on top of the mountain for ever.  We have to climb back down into the valley.  Those experiences are so intense, so life-changing, that we want more.  If we are not careful we can fall into the trap of constantly chasing the next one, the next intense experience of God, the next high.  We will do anything and everything to find it, and if it doesn’t come… then what?  We risk putting all our efforts into chasing the highs, at the expense of learning how to live in the normal.

A marriage built on nothing more than the intense first flush of love, or lust, will fail when that feeling passes and there is nothing to sustain it through the difficult times.  A friendship with no foundation other than shared enjoyment of experiences will flounder when one person needs the support of the other through darker times.  So too our faith, if built on nothing more than wanting an intense experience of God, will not last in the time when those experiences are not available to us.

So what then?  How do we build a faith, a relationship with God, which can sustain us through the valleys, when God is present but not with the intensity of the miraculous experiences of the mountain tops.

I believe these Spiritual Skills are key to this.  Like all aspects of a relationship they need practice and development.  We will all have some skills where we are stronger, and others which we recognise as a weakness.  That should not be a cause of despair, but rather a starting point to encourage us to work at these things, to develop our relationship with God in Jesus by the power of the Holy Spirit.  My hope and prayer is that the Holy Spirit will use what I write here to aid that process for at least some of those who will read it.

 

A “sinful” woman

I don’t often preach “narrative” sermons, but yesterday preaching on the “sinful” woman anointing Jesus (Luke 7:36-50) I felt led to this retelling of the story from her perspective.  Several members of the congregation commented on how it drew them into the scene and allowed God to speak to them, so I offer it here with the prayer that it will do similarly to others.

She was used to being on the margins, excluded, looked down upon.  All her adult life it had been the same, ever since she had chosen her career.  Not that it had been choice, at least at first, more necessity.  The need to eat, the need for clothes, for a roof over her head, had driven her to sell the only thing she had which anyone would buy, her own body.

She saw the looks of course, saw the distain, heard the comments, sensed the disapproval.  Those religious types were the worst, doing nothing to hide their contempt for one such as her – dirty, unclean, excluded, a stain on society.

But he was different, the one they called Yeshua.  She had watched from a distance, seen how he interacted with the crowd, how he looked at people, how he spoke to people. She’d seen the compassion on his face, the tenderness as he reached out to heal, the gentleness as he spoke to people.

He’d caught her eye once – her instinct as always had been to look away, but somehow she couldn’t. He’d known exactly who she was of course – she couldn’t hide it these days, the way she dressed, and her profession wasn’t exactly kind on her body.  He’d known, as countless others before had known.  But there was something different in his response, in the look on his face, those eyes piercing deep into her, but with no hatred, only kindness.  And that look on his face, a new one to her, radiating pure love.  She didn’t see that – lust, yes, she saw that countless times each day – but not love.

Yes, this one was different.  Just that momentary look, but she knew in that moment that he loved her, that he would accept her – knew too that he could heal her, that the compassion he had shown to others would be available to her too.  And knew in that moment that she too loved him.

Wanting to show that love, but what could she offer to such a man – she had only one thing to offer to men, and somehow she knew this one wouldn’t be interested in that.  But she had to do something, to return the love that had been in that look.  All she had was that little jar of perfume, maybe she could give that to him, as a gift, all that she had.

Following him to the house where he is going for dinner, bribing a servant to let her in with the promise that she will make it worth his while later.  And suddenly she was there, at his feet, standing by the one who loved her.  The emotion takes over, and she’s crying, unable to hold it back any more, deep sobs wracking her body – releasing all that pent up guilt and shame at who she is, who she has become – longing to be able to change, to put all that behind her.

Her tears flowing from her, running down over her cheeks, dripping down onto his feet.  Desperately looking round for something to wipe them away, but she cannot see a cloth, so she grabs the only thing she has to hand, her long hair, fingers fumbling to undo the braids to let hang loose, to blot away the tears.  But still they keep flowing, running down in great rivers onto his feet, and she keeps wiping.  And then the jar of perfume in her hand, yes, that is what she must do, she pours it onto those feet, kissing them, anointing him, a symbol of her love, her devotion, her service of this man who has still not even said a word to her – but who deep down she knows is someone special, someone she must honour, love, serve, devote herself to.

She starts slightly as he speaks.  But not to her, he’s talking to another man.  She recognises him: Simon, the man whose house this is – one of those hyper-critical religious types.  She knows what he thinks of her, he’s made that abundantly clear on so many occasions.  Yeshua is telling him a story – a story about debt, about forgiveness – oh how she longs to feel that forgiveness.

But now he’s talking about her, talking to Simon about her.  Her actions, what she is doing for him – he’s noticed, he’s appreciated her little act of love, so small and insignificant, but Yeshua has noticed.  Then those words, words which strike straight to her heart – words she had longed to hear, but barely even dared to hope she ever would,  from anyone, least of all from one such as this: “Her sins are forgiven.”  Is that her, does he mean her?  Has she missed something as she tunes in and out of the conversation? Is he really saying she can be forgiven? It’s almost as if he senses her doubt, because he’s turning now to face her, fixing her with that look again, the one that goes straight through her – but the kindness in his voice as he says it again, directly to her this time, “Your sins are forgiven.”

She can sense the tension in the room, hear the mutterings, the murmurings, the disquiet.  It’s there, but it’s not there, fading away, insignificant.  Let them mutter, let them disapprove, she no longer cares what they think.  All that matters is Yeshua, what he thinks, those kind eyes, the smile on his face, those immortal words “Your faith has saved you; go in peace.”

Peace, yes, in that moment, a peace she has never known before, never imagined could be known.  Deep peace, flowing as it were from him, into her, through her.  Peace with herself, peace of heart and mind, a deep, healing peace.  Peace in knowing that he forgives her, and that once Yeshua has forgiven then life will never be the same again.

Are we willing to be challenged?

I am a member of a Facebook group for church organists, and yesterday one of the members posted the lyrics of this hymn by John Bell and the Iona Community, which had apparently caused some consternation amongst the members of her choir that morning:

Inspired by love and anger, disturbed by need and pain,
Informed of God’s own bias, we ask him once again:
“How long must some folk suffer? How long can few folk mind?
How long dare vain self-interest turn prayer and pity blind?”

From those forever victims of heartless human greed,
Their cruel plight composes a litany of need:
“Where are the fruits of justice? Where are the signs of peace?
When is the day when prisoners and dreams find their release?”

From those forever shackled to what their wealth can buy,
The fear of lost advantage provoke the bitter cry:
“Don’t query our position! Don’t criticise our wealth!
Don’t mention those exploited by politics and stealth!”

To God, who through the prophets proclaimed a different age,
We offer earth’s indifference, its agony and rage:
“When will the wronged by righted? When will the kingdom come?
When will the world be generous to all instead of some?”

God asks, “Who will go for me? Who will extend my reach?
And who, when few will listen, will prophesy and preach?
And who, when few bid welcome, will offer all they know?
And who, when few dare follow, will walk the road I show?”

Amused in someone’s kitchen, asleep in someone’s boat,
Attuned to what the ancients exposed, proclaimed and wrote,
A saviour without safety, a tradesman without tools
Has come to tip the balance with fishermen and fools.

These words were felt to be “hostile” and “offensive”.  Interestingly, most of the organists in the group disagreed, and felt that this was a hymn which spoke into the modern world in a way which was direct and necessary.  Many commented that church should be a place where we expect to be challenged and disturbed, and that too often it has become somewhere where we just have our previous prejudices reconfirmed.

I would agree.  The Old Testament prophets were forever offending their audience, and the church sorely needs more of those prophetic voices into our 21st Century Western comfort – I believe John Bell is one such prophet for our day.  Paul even goes so far as to describe the cross of Jesus as offensive (Galatians 5:11).  The Christian faith is not a comfortable one, it strikes at the very heart of who we are and calls us to become something very different.  That is difficult; we don’t find change easy, we don’t like being told that we are wrong.  But if the church is not issuing that challenge then we are watering down the message of Jesus and failing to be a true witness to him.  To use the well-known phrase, we are to “comfort the afflicted and afflict the comfortable.”

If I have any criticism of Bell’s hymn it is that is doesn’t go far enough with the first half of that phrase.  The idea hinted at in the final two lines, that in issuing this challenge Jesus also walks with us to help us fulfil it, could probably have done with an extra stanza to develop and reinforce.  But that is not to take away from the powerful effect of what he has written, which does offend, but in the right way of making us all think again about the society in which we live, and our part within it.

So let us come to church ready to be challenged, even offended, as we encounter the Jesus who works with us to “tip the balance” of our own lives, so that together we may turn the world upside down.

(I do recognise there is a valid question of whether hymns/songs are the best place within our worship to express this challenge, or whether using the same words as a poem or reflection may be more appropriate, but that is a tangential question to the main issue here).

 

Plus ça change?

Last week someone commented that they had read my last blog post, and hadn’t initially realised that I had written it all the way back in March.  Re-reading it, I can see why, as it really feels like little has changed in the past 6 months.  As we approach another possible Brexit date, I repost the prayer points here, as they are just as valid now as they were back then!

There are some certainties about what is coming, and there are some responses which I believe Christian people must make at this time, irrespective of political persuasion.  Many of these are also valid responses for people without faith.  I offer a list below, and I may amend it or add to it over the coming days.

  • We must continue to pray for our politicians.  Paul urges us to bless people rather than curse them, even when they are hurting us.  That doesn’t mean we can’t hate their decisions, and fight against them, but we must try (and it’s not easy!) not to hate them as people.  We must pray for wisdom, for a desire to do what is right for people rather than their own political games, but above all for honesty and integrity – two virtues which are sadly too often lacking in our culture.
  • Whatever happens, the poor and marginalised will lose out, because they always do.  The church must continue to be challenged by Scripture, which calls us time and again to care for those who are disadvantaged, on the margins, unable to speak for themselves.  You could argue that if we as a society had done that better we wouldn’t be in the current mess, but we must take particular care of those who are vulnerable, as at times of political uncertainty they are the ones most likely to be trodden on.
  • We must take a stand and say that racism and xenophobia are not acceptable, in any form.  Sadly over the past three years they have become an every day experience for many people in this country.  All people are made in God’s image, irrespective of the colour of their skin, where they were born, or what language they speak.  The love of God is not contained by our arbitrary geographical boundaries, and we must fulfil our Biblical mandate to welcome and love all people in Jesus name.
  • Pray for the island of Ireland.  I am just old enough to remember the troubles in Northern Ireland, but I didn’t really understand what was going on.  But those who were there know it is not something they ever want to go back to.  Pray for continued peace.  But it’s not just about that; even if there is peace, any closing of the border will cause serious economic issues on both sides, so we must pray that a solution can be found.
  • Above all, remember this is not just about us.  The events of the next few weeks will affect UK citizens in the UK, UK citizens living elsewhere in the EU, EU citizens living in the UK, the jobs and livelihoods of thousands, and who knows what else.  In this, as in everything, we must resist any tendency to protection of our own interests, but instead seek what is right for the whole of God’s creation.

Keep praying!

What is going on?

A question that is being asked by many people in the United Kingdom, and indeed across the world, at this time.  The events of this week have made an already confused Brexit process appear even more in disarray.  One journalist used the word “omnishambles” and that’s probably as good a description as we could get.

No-one seems happy with where we are now, neither those who wanted to leave the EU or those who wanted to remain.  No-one seems to be in control, no-one really seems to know what is going on.  With two weeks to go until the date set for Brexit we still don’t know if, when, or how we will leave.

But there are some certainties about what is coming, and there are some responses which I believe Christian people must make at this time, irrespective of political persuasion.  Many of these are also valid responses for people without faith.  I offer a list below, and I may amend it or add to it over the coming days.

  • We must continue to pray for our politicians.  On Sunday I will be preaching on Romans 12, where Paul urges us to bless people rather than curse them, even when they are hurting us.  That doesn’t mean we can’t hate their decisions, and fight against them, but we must try (and it’s not easy!) not to hate them as people.  We must pray for wisdom, for a desire to do what is right for people rather than their own political games, but above all for honesty and integrity – two virtues which are sadly too often lacking in our culture.
  • Whatever happens, the poor and marginalised will lose out, because they always do.  The church must continue to be challenged by Scripture, which calls us time and again to care for those who are disadvantaged, on the margins, unable to speak for themselves.  You could argue that if we as a society had done that better we wouldn’t be in the current mess, but we must take particular care of those who are vulnerable, as at times of political uncertainty they are the ones most likely to be trodden on.
  • We must take a stand and say that racism and xenophobia are not acceptable, in any form.  Sadly over the past two years they have become an every day experience for many people in this country.  All people are made in God’s image, irrespective of the colour of their skin, where they were born, or what language they speak.  The love of God is not contained by our arbitrary geographical boundaries, and we must fulfil our Biblical mandate to welcome and love all people in Jesus name.
  • Pray for the island of Ireland.  I am just old enough to remember the troubles in Northern Ireland, but I didn’t really understand what was going on.  But those who were there know it is not something they ever want to go back to.  Pray for continued peace.  But it’s not just about that; even if there is peace, any closing of the border will cause serious economic issues on both sides, so we must pray that a solution can be found.
  • Above all, remember this is not just about us.  The events of the next few weeks will affect UK citizens in the UK, UK citizens living elsewhere in the EU, EU citizens living in the UK, the jobs and livelihoods of thousands, and who knows what else.  In this, as in everything, we must resist any tendency to protection of our own interests, but instead seek what is right for the whole of God’s creation.

There’s a few things to be going on with!  As I say, I may add to this as we watch the continuing unfolding of events over the coming days.  If you have suggestions of other ways we as Christian people should respond then please let me know.

Abortion and Homosexuality

This week we are on holiday in the Republic of Ireland, which has just held a referendum in which 64.4% of the population voted to remove from the constitution a clause which gave an equal right to life to a mother and her unborn child.  The referendum result does not immediately legalise abortion, but it paves the way for the Irish Parliament to do so, and the necessary legislation will certainly be passed in the very near future. 

I include here a column from the weekly bulletin of the church we attend in Ireland.  It is written by the Parish Priest, whose identity I will withhold as I don’t have explicit permission to republish his views (they are in the public domain on his own church’s website), and some in the Catholic Church may take issue with him.  His reference point is obviously Catholic theology and tradition, but I believe he has something to say to the whole church. 

The result of the Referendum surprised some of us – but that’s democracy.  It doesn’t change a lot – the problem remains and we have to work at developing a society that cares, and provides effective support for all those in need.  Life goes on, God is still in the heavens, the sky won’t fall in and if the fine weather continues for another few weeks the farmers will be praying for rain!  We live in a rapidly different society from 30-40 years ago.  That era wasn’t perfect either.  Society is constantly changing and evolving – remember Slavery was the accepted norm onetime up to the end of the 19th century and still goes on in some places today. 

One of the issues coming to the fore in our time is the issue of homosexuality.  As with unwanted pregnancies, much of this issue was not addressed properly in the past – things were swept under the carpet and there was much wrong and a lot of hurt. 

Pope Francis has reminded us many times that life is not black and white – that there are all kinds of grey areas that society has difficult dealing with.  A Spanish Newspaper is quoted this week as saying that a gay man named Juan Carlos recently met the Pope who said the following: “He told me, ‘Juan Carlos, that you are gay does not matter.  God made you like this and loves you like this and I don’t care.  The pope loves you like this.  You have to be happy with who you are,’” (Greg Burke, the Vatican’s chief spokesman, did not respond to questions about whether Cruz’s statement accurately reflected his conversation with the Pope.) 

It is not the first time it has been suggested that Pope Francis has an open and tolerant attitude toward homosexuality, despite the traditional historical Catholic church’s teaching that gay sex was wrong.  In July 2016, in response to a reporter’s question about homosexuality he said “I am glad that we are talking about ‘homosexual people’ because before all else comes the individual person, in his wholeness and dignity.”  He continues, “and people should not be defined only by their sexual tendencies: let us not forget that God loves all his creatures and we are destined to receive his infinite love.”  Francis said: “Who am I to judge?”  The new remarks appear to go much further in embracing homosexuality as a sexual orientation that is designed and bestowed by God.  It suggests that Francis does not believe that individuals choose to be gay or lesbian, as some religious conservatives argue. 

Christopher Lamb, the Vatican correspondent for the Tablet, said the comments were remarkable and a sign of a shift in attitudes taking place.  “It goes beyond ‘who am I to judge?’ to ‘you are loved by God,’” said Lamb.  “I don’t think he has changed church teaching but he’s demonstrating an affirmation of gay Catholics, something that has been missing over the years in Rome.” 

The remarks come as several high profile members of the clergy have sought to publicly make inroads with gay Catholics, many of whom have felt shunned and unwelcome in the church and have been ostracised.  Father James Martin, a Jesuit priest in New York has led the outreach effort and was chosen last month to serve as a consultor to the Vatican’s secretariat for communications.  Martin has argued in his book “Building a Bridge” that the onus is on the church to make LGBT Catholics feel welcome in the church and to stop discriminating against people based on their “sexuality”. 

This is not just an issue for the Catholic church.  In many churches of all persuasions are gay Christians who feel unable to reveal their sexuality for risk of persecution.  Others have left church after church as they have felt unwelcome, and end up giving up on church altogether, if not giving up on God. 

There is a scriptural argument for saying that homosexual practice is wrong – some will agree with that argument, others will not.  Some of us may wish to encourage gay Christians to remain celibate, others will not feel this to be necessary.  But there is no basis in the Bible, or in wider Christian theology, for condemning someone based on their sexuality – being gay is not inherently wrong, even if acting on those impulses may be.  

There are many gifted and sincere followers of Jesus who just happen to be sexually attracted to members of their own gender.  Our first response must be to love them, to affirm to them that God loves them, to welcome them into the community of the church so that we may walk with them as they discern the voice of God’s Spirit, that they may live in obedience to him.